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Do you like kids?
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My partner (30F) and I (28M) were talking and when the topic of kids came up we both reaffirmed that we both don't want kids. But when we continued talking I realized she actively dislikes kids which was almost as surprising to me as finding out I actually like kids was to her.
I grew up babysitting and even worked I childcare shortly before moving to my current tech job and grew an appreciation for kids. My partner was an only child and has never spent much time around kids.
Honestly reflecting on this sort of made some of my family members reaction make more sense to me. I think when someone says I don't want kids that people on the outside think that means you hate kids, and I know that many do like my partner, but there are also people like me who do like kids but just have no desire for one.
What do you all think? Anyone else out there that like kids but just not want one?
Top Comment: Greetings! I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this question comes back regularly on the sub, is addressed in the sub's sidebar ("Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> ""Am I the only one who likes children but doesn't want any of my own?" No, you aren't. ") and in the sub's FAQ : Do childfree people dislike children and their parents? No. Not all childfree people dislike children or their parents. The only hallmark required to be a childfree person is not desiring children. Some childfree people choose to have children play a large role in their lives by pursuing teaching or childcare careers, and some choose to omit children from their lives as much as possible. About 15% of our community is a "cool aunt" or "cool uncle" to a child in their family or other social circles, 10% is a godparent . (more in the provided FAQ link) Then why are there frequent posts complaining about them? Many of us live in a world in which it is socially absolutely unacceptable to criticize any aspect of pregnancy, children, or their parents for any reason. As a result, many of us need a supportive outlet for being able to express our frustration with any of those things. For many of us, r/childfree is our place to vent and express exasperation. Although, only less than 25% of the childfree subscribers have ranted at least once on the subreddit . (more in the provided FAQ link) I hope that this is helpful and that you feel less alone. Have a great day!
What’s having children really like?
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Give me the realistic no BS version please.
I see myself having kids one day but I no doubt would be romanticising a lot of it.
Can people with children give me a realistic version of what it’s like? Ups and downs and specifically how it impacts your day to day. I’m guessing your life stops pretty much and it’s all about them now.
I still have hobbies now and hoping to get all I can out of them before I have children so i don’t look back in regret.
Top Comment: Dad of a 4yo and a 1yo here. It’s pretty much all-encompassing. The day starts at 6am and you just don’t stop until about 8pm. Making food, changing clothes, playing, preparing to go places, bringing snacks, wiping hands, wiping noses, wiping faces, carrying them, helping them, playing with them, doing countless loads of laundry, fixing things, dealing with tantrums, teaching them, reading books, putting things away, cleaning up constantly. It’s mental. Life as you’ve known it previously is but a memory. But I’ve never felt the joy - or in fact the pure life satisfaction - that I’ve gotten from being a dad. Watching their faces as they discover new things, watching them explain something you’ve taught them, being proud at their use of manners, their expressions of wonder at simple things, their funny misunderstandings, the cuddles, when they tell you they love you, their childlike naivety and innocence, the absolutely all-encompassing love that they have for you that can melt every problem in your life away. Then you see them grow, and see your babies turn into toddlers and your toddlers turn into little boys or girls. I’ve gotten teary just thinking about it. I still have my hobbies; I enjoy a good couple of hours of video games after the kids are in bed. It’s certainly not for everyone, but my goodness do I love my life with my kids.
Is having kids really that bad?
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Not trying to be rude, but I see so many comments from people saying they wish they hadn’t had kids and how much they regret it, due to how much it affects their lives. I’m 27 and me and my partner are thinking about having kids in the next few years but the comments really do make me worry it’s not worth. I know kids are going to change your life but is it really that bad?
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Is having 2 little kids supposed to be this hard?
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Newly 3yo and 5mo baby. Maybe I am naive, I knew it would be very hard, but I did not think it was going to be THIS defeating on a daily basis. My husband says he anticipated it. Is this really everyone else's experience? It's just... I have no words. I think of the millions of people on this planet that have more than 1 child. They all went through this too? Really??? How?
Top Comment: I was in my mid 30’s living life in a Manhattan high rise as a c-level executive when I became pregnant with my first. Everything seemed to change quickly after. I had to downgrade my job because it was too stressful. Had to move to a more family friendly home in a family friendly town. Naturally, I hated parenthood my first few years. Everything felt hard. I felt like a failure everyday. A friend told me my problem was that I was comparing parenthood to the life I used to have, which was filled with tangible wins, positive affirmations, and big rewards. In parenting, you don’t see any of that in the early years. She said I needed to set one small parenting goal every day and focus on that as my win, affirmation, and reward. So I did. One day it’s “get baby to try new food.” The next day it’s “get 5 year old to put on his pajamas himself.” They were small daily goals but pretty soon I felt like I was winning at this parenting thing.